ANSWER TO GRACE

The issue is not all how the parent deals with raising the child it is
how others will see the child. It's not as much about whether the
child knows that who they are is more important, it's the questions
that children have when they realize that that rule does not always
apply to them. Children of color don't feel badly about how they look
(necessarily) in transracial families it becomes how and why some
things are different. So, without being conscious of it you can give
mixed messages.

An example for it's not how you look...but, you would get a very
different impression if you visit the AA haircare boards. We are
teaching to be the same but make a big deal about hair being different
and needing special things and about how the skin needs different
creams. That's meant to simply be an example of how children can
possibly get mixed messages.

Valarie
http://www.witheyeslikemine.blogspot.com


FROM GRACE:
Ultimately, what I've decided is that dealing with racial issues
requires a healthy mindset- a healthy attitude- a healthy awareness.
I don't think I will personally be pushing racial issues onto my
kids, but I want to be aware and sensitive, and be prepared with
good answers. I am already teaching my daughter that WHO you are is
more important that how you look- I would teach her that even if we
weren't adopting transracially. I am already teaching my daughter
about Ethiopian culture- the food, the history, the beautiful
people, but I would do that about the country we are adopting from,
even if I wasn't adopting from an African country.